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Funniest Spam: The Joke is On Them

Recently I decided, if you cant beat the spammers, I might as well just relax on Memorial Day Weekend and enjoy a good laugh on them.

Like most IT professionals, I get too much email. Yes - we block spam (over 92% of inbound email traffic from the Internet at last check). But still, unwanted “stuff” gets through…

At home, I use Gmail, and Google does a decent job at separating out the unwanted spam. Nevertheless…, I occasionally check the spam folder to see if any non-spam (important email) is in the wrong place. Some of these funny messages came from there as well.

Recently I decided, if you can’t beat the spammers, I might as well just relax on Memorial Day Weekend and enjoy a good laugh on them. Here are my favorite spam messages in two categories: Funniest and “Give Me a Break…”

Funniest:

1)      Hurry – Limited Time Opportunity to Stop Emails Like This One

2)      Warning: Reading this email will be hazardous to your boredom

3)      Free Money: Just Pay Shipping & Handling Charges

4)      Tired of Cloud Computing Mumbo Jumbo? Check Out My Digital Gumbo

5)      R U 4 Real?

 

Get Real: (Or, I’m not clicking )

1)      Title: Mony For U

Text -  I am Koh Beng Seng from Bank of China have a deal of 65.5m and am ready to share 50/50 see attachment for details if interested. (Tip: Please…. Don’t click on these types of attachments.)

2)      Blog As An Expert in Ten Minutes  - Here’s How

3)      All the Online Storage You Want For Free

(Comment: China in the address did not instill confidence. They even offered to check my file contents for "safety." Huh?)

4)      Thanks For The Order!

(Comment: What Order? The text had a link with the note that looked like a Google URL, but the details showed the link went elsewhere. Of course, I didn’t click. Don’t be fooled by address “aliases” that may first appear to be genuine.)

5)      WIN $500: We Need Your Expert Opinion

(Comment: Some offer cash drawings, others free T-shirts or even a free iPad with no drawing. While the survey may be legit, so are government ethics rules. Besides, do they really think I’ll give away sensitive cybersecurity information for a T-shirt? Delete!)

One more thing, some spam contains a link “to be removed from this email list.” Clicking on that link is one of the surest ways to get more spam - nor should you send them an email to remove you. (This confirms that the email address is valid and their message is getting through, so they often sell the address to others for a higher profit.)

We might as well smile at these spam messages, because we haven't been able to fully stop them from coming yet.

Any funny spam (or hard to believe emails) come your way? Please share by leaving a comment.   

Daniel J. Lohrmann is an internationally recognized cybersecurity leader, technologist, keynote speaker and author.