+ Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
+ Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
+ Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
+ Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
+ How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
+ If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
+ If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
+ If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
+ Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
+ Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
+ Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
+ You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
+ Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
+ Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
When Fishermen Boot Up
If you're about to scrape the dried worms off last year's fishhooks and head down to the pond, you may first want to take a look at the latest gear. For example, a computerized lure transmitting data up from the depths through a fiber-optic fishing line to a reel-mounted screen.
The gear, to be manufactured by Aquametrics Inc. of Scappoose, Ore., doesn't have a sticker price yet, but you can bet trolling a computer with hooks on it past submerged stumps will add excitement and drama to this formerly low-key pastime.
Government Technology wishes to thank the many readers who have sent humorous (or just plain weird) items for our De-engineering section. Since some of these items have been relayed umpteen times over the Internet, we are not always able to credit the author or sender, but we will attempt to do so whenever possible. You can e-mail stuff to us at GTMag@AOL.com