I just bought a spanking new HP LaserJet 4000. With built-in PostScript, two input trays and network ready for $1600, I figured it was the bargain of the century. Was I in for a shock. I got my Windows 95 machine to talk to it over the network without too much horror. Of course, I can't understand why at 17 ppm, it takes longer to print than my 12 ppm LaserJet 4 Plus with half the memory, or why when I set the resolution to 300, 600 or 1200 dpi or turn "resolution enhancement" on or off, there ain't one hill of beans worth of difference in any of the output. But the kicker of it all is when I tried to get my Windows 3.1 machine to print to it. HP's manual says you gotta have the "Microsoft DLC" protocol to make it work on the network. The Microsoft "WHAT" protocol?

HP says to use the "Windows Setup and Monitor Utilities" floppy.

Naturally, I don't have or ever even recall having had that little gem.

But, after searching Microsoft's Web site, lo and behold, I found the "Microsoft DLC" protocol for Windows for Workgroups, downloaded it and proceeded to install it. Well, whaddayaknow. When I rebooted, it beat my AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS files into 0 bytes of dust and left me with a screenful of error messages.

It goes without saying that the installation was asinine, but what geeko-nerdo-dum-dum decided we needed yet another transport protocol to deal with. When are the "visionaries" at the top going to learn enough computer literacy to stop these morons?

HP and Microsoft. You should be ashamed of yourself for such carelessness, sloppiness and sheer stupidity.

January Table of Contents