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Funniest Spam: The Joke is On Them

Recently I decided, if you cant beat the spammers, I might as well just relax on Memorial Day Weekend and enjoy a good laugh on them.

by / May 29, 2011

Like most IT professionals, I get too much email. Yes - we block spam (over 92% of inbound email traffic from the Internet at last check). But still, unwanted “stuff” gets through…

At home, I use Gmail, and Google does a decent job at separating out the unwanted spam. Nevertheless…, I occasionally check the spam folder to see if any non-spam (important email) is in the wrong place. Some of these funny messages came from there as well.

Recently I decided, if you can’t beat the spammers, I might as well just relax on Memorial Day Weekend and enjoy a good laugh on them. Here are my favorite spam messages in two categories: Funniest and “Give Me a Break…”


1)      Hurry – Limited Time Opportunity to Stop Emails Like This One

2)      Warning: Reading this email will be hazardous to your boredom

3)      Free Money: Just Pay Shipping & Handling Charges

4)      Tired of Cloud Computing Mumbo Jumbo? Check Out My Digital Gumbo

5)      R U 4 Real?

Get Real: (Or, I’m not clicking )

1)      Title: Mony For U

Text -  I am Koh Beng Seng from Bank of China have a deal of 65.5m and am ready to share 50/50 see attachment for details if interested. (Tip: Please…. Don’t click on this attachment.)

2)      Blog As An Expert in Ten Minutes  - Here’s How

3)      All the Online Storage You Want For Free

(Comment: China in the address did not instill confidence. They even offered to check my file contents for "safety." Huh?)

4)      Thanks For The Order!

(Comment: What Order? The text had a link with the note that looked like a Google URL, but the details showed the link went elsewhere. Of course, I didn’t click. Don’t be fooled by address “aliases” that may first appear to be genuine.)

5)      WIN $500: We Need Your Expert Opinion

(Comment: Some offer cash drawings, others T-shirts or even a free iPad without a drawing. While the survey may be legit, so are government ethics rules. Besides, do they really think I’ll give away sensitive cybersecurity information for a T-shirt? Delete!)

One more thing, some spam contains a link “to be removed from this email list.” Clicking on that link is one of the surest ways to get more spam - nor should you send them an email to remove you from their list. (This confirms that the email address is valid and their message is getting through, so they often sell the address to others for a higher profit.)

We might as well smile at these spam messages, because we haven't been able to fully stop them from coming yet.

Any funny spam (or hard to believe emails) come your way? Please share by leaving a comment.  

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Dan Lohrmann Chief Security Officer & Chief Strategist at Security Mentor Inc.

Daniel J. Lohrmann is an internationally recognized cybersecurity leader, technologist, keynote speaker and author.

During his distinguished career, he has served global organizations in the public and private sectors in a variety of executive leadership capacities, receiving numerous national awards including: CSO of the Year, Public Official of the Year and Computerworld Premier 100 IT Leader.
Lohrmann led Michigan government’s cybersecurity and technology infrastructure teams from May 2002 to August 2014, including enterprisewide Chief Security Officer (CSO), Chief Technology Officer (CTO) and Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) roles in Michigan.

He currently serves as the Chief Security Officer (CSO) and Chief Strategist for Security Mentor Inc. He is leading the development and implementation of Security Mentor’s industry-leading cyber training, consulting and workshops for end users, managers and executives in the public and private sectors. He has advised senior leaders at the White House, National Governors Association (NGA), National Association of State CIOs (NASCIO), U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS), federal, state and local government agencies, Fortune 500 companies, small businesses and nonprofit institutions.

He has more than 30 years of experience in the computer industry, beginning his career with the National Security Agency. He worked for three years in England as a senior network engineer for Lockheed Martin (formerly Loral Aerospace) and for four years as a technical director for ManTech International in a US/UK military facility.

Lohrmann is the author of two books: Virtual Integrity: Faithfully Navigating the Brave New Web and BYOD for You: The Guide to Bring Your Own Device to Work. He has been a keynote speaker at global security and technology conferences from South Africa to Dubai and from Washington, D.C., to Moscow.

He holds a master's degree in computer science (CS) from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, and a bachelor's degree in CS from Valparaiso University in Indiana.

Follow Lohrmann on Twitter at: @govcso

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