Campaign Season

Campaign Season

by / March 1, 2007

It's that time again. America's favorite three-ring circus is pulling into town. The 2008 presidential campaign season is officially underway, and it's already shaping up to be another memorable cavalcade of sound and fury. The next 23 months promise to be more entertaining than any new release from Hollywood (I'm looking at you, Ocean's Thirteen -- coming to theaters June 8).

There is, of course, the cynical joy one gets from watching candidates of the same party attempt to annihilate each other in their quest to be given the most difficult and stressful job imaginable.

It's also fascinating to watch each election cycle as candidates announce their Oval Office ambitions earlier and earlier. If the trend continues, candidates for the 2016 presidential race may in fact announce their intent to run before the 2012 election is held. But that's all further down the road. It's important to concentrate on the here and now.

Clearly the most exciting development so far is Hillary Clinton's announcement that she will seek the office of the president. However, should she be elected, we'll have to confront a difficult reality: What member of the Bush family will run to unseat her? For the sake of argument, let's assume each theoretical president wins two terms. Last year Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said, "I'm not running for president. I'm not running for United States Senate. I'm not going to run. Why doesn't everyone believe me on this?"

This means, of course, that he will likely run.

But then, should that Bush win in 2016 (we'll know by 2011 if he's running), what Clinton family member will run to unseat him in 2024? Well, by 2024 Chelsea Clinton will be 44, which is beyond the minimum age required to be president. Roger Clinton, star of the 1994 horror film Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings and half brother to former President Bill Clinton, might still be around. So, a dream scenario might be a runoff between Chelsea and Roger to secure their party's nomination for presidential candidate, or -- and I tremble at the sheer majesty of typing this -- the two of them running on a dual Clinton ticket!

Which brings us to 2032. You might think there are no more Bushes left to run, but you'd be wrong. There are scores of Bushes who could be elected in 2032. You haven't forgotten the twin offspring of the current President Bush, Jenna and Barbara Bush, have you? There's Jeb's daughter, Noelle Bush -- whose cocaine problems will probably be forgotten by 2032. There's fashion model Lauren Bush, and Pierce Bush, whose dad is Neil Bush, George W. Bush's younger brother. Don't forget about George P. Bush. Heck, we even have Jeb Bush Jr.

Sadly this great American story will come to an end in 2040 unless former President Chelsea Clinton has children who bear the Clinton name. And even then, will they be old enough to run by 2040? It's a question we simply cannot answer.

What does all of this have to do with technology? Well, it's quite simple, it ... oh look, I'm out of space.
Chad Vander Veen

Chad Vander Veen is the former editor of FutureStructure.


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